Me: Hey Rahul, do you think my belly looks any bigger?

R: Well, it definitely doesn’t look like that normally. If it did, I’d say…um, I mean I’d say nothing. I mean, um, you’re so pretty.

Me: Well, what about this here?

R: No (pinches), that’s just fat.

Me: No! I mean, down here (poking suprapubic abdomen).

R: I think that’s just bloat.

Me: Well, let’s take a picture of me anyway for the blog (hands camera to Rahul).

R: Okay (takes camera). But, uh, why are you standing in profile? Do you really have a belly yet?

Me: What (room lights begin to flicker dangerously)!? I am TWO months pregnant! I COULD!

R: Maybe you should just turn toward me a little bit.

Me: Huh? Whhaaaaa! You think I look like a FAT WHALE already!!! Boooooo-hoooo! Ahhhh! (head begins to spin)

R: No! Um…you’re so pretty. Here, have a snack.

Me: Sniffle (pause, munching noises). Mmmm. Cookies.

So there you have it fans. A belly update. So in case you were wondering if I am showing yet…I’m not. Things are getting a little bit tight and my uterus is the size of a big grapefruit (versus its normally petite plum), but I have a suspicion that it’s mostly guts and water. Or if Rahul’s assessment is correct, fat and bloat. Thanks, honey.

By the way, I would eat “Uncle Sam” cereal with caution.